Appliance Melancholy

The year.... 1974*. Appliance companies everywhere responded to consumer demand for appliances to be any colour but white. Pea-soup green became the uh... 'gold' standard in households across North America. Other promising colours were dried-mustard yellow and bad-mayonnaise beige. Washing machines began offering 'gentle cycles' and brands like Maytag and Whirlpool became household names, known for producing quality product that lasted for years.

Fast forward to 2008. Last year (in 2007), we bought a house and became proud owners of a pea-soup green washer and dryer. I looked all over the machines for the emblazened seal of approval stating the year of manufacturing, to no avail. I convinced myself I wasn't yet out of diapers.

After my first load of laundry, I asked The Man for a new washer and dryer. "What would really go great in our laundry room is a new washing machine. One that has more than two options for wash cycles," I pleaded. Not a chance. My best hope was for one of the machines to break. I won't lie; in earnest I concocted possible scenarios for how best to break either machine. 'How bad is it really to put a hammer in the dryer? How many towels could I wash at a time before the washing machine choked and died? Is a pack of matches in the dryer a fire hazard?' I never had the nerve, or the financial comfort, to bring my imagination to life. However two weeks ago, the answer came, in the form of a large, blue, terry cloth bathrobe.

Otherwise known as the thing. that would not. dry. Time flies when you only have three dry settings to choose from. Apparently, after three hours, the bathrobe was still not dry. 'Hmm," I thought. "That's some thick bathrobe. Obviously too much for my antique dryer to handle." Genius husband said it was because I was using permanient press dial setting, with the high heat temperature setting. He buys into the theory that if you say anything with authority, people will believe you. I'm onto him though!

A week later my cousin Jenn and her bf Ryan came to visit. They had driven along the coast from B.C, camping in rain for a week, I offered them use of my laundry facilities. No terry-cloth fur coats in their laundry, yet it still took three hours to dry. While I was slightly embarrassed, I rejoiced. "Ding, Dong! The dryer's dead. The dryer's dead!" in tune to the W.O.Oz's Munchkin Parade.

I registered on Consumer Reports. I spent hours browsing. I pounded the pavement. I talked to friends and got first-hand accounts. I read reviews. Using an Excel spreadsheet and some moderately confusing math, I narrowed it down. One of the most important things to me, was energy efficiency. While some people in my household believe more in global cooling than global warming, I wanted a lower electricity bill. Fortunately, that only leaves about 45 units to choose from. I wanted a top loader for a few reasons - easier on my tweaky back, can add clothes to the cycle once it's started, my laundry room doesn't leave a whole lot of room for doors at knee height, and larger loads. (One day I will have a king size bed and will need to wash king-size blankets).

I narrowed it down to the Whirlpool Cabrio, Maytag Bravos, Kenmore Elilte Oasis HE, and GE Profile. To make a long story less long, I went with the Kenmore Elite Oasis HE from Sears because I got a ridiculously good price on a floor model. (Also, I am less concerned about anti-bacteria in my laundry, am not convinced the 'steam' function really makes a huge difference, not to mention any of those washer and dryers have about 80 per cent more functionality than my current pair, and 100 per cent more effectiveness than my current dryer).

Overall, I would say trying to decide on which appliances to go with is not easy. It's a lot of pressure! It's all fine and dandy for The Guy at home on the couch watching television, but I just knew that if I bought the wrong thing it's going to be all my fault. A woman with her son were also spending their Monday afternoon shopping for a new W/D set, and I'd like to think, we bonded over the anxiety.

Things I learned:

• You will usually pay about $100 more for a non-white machine
• They will take MORE money off the floor model if there are scratches etc. At Sears, for every two weeks the floor model sits there, they knock more money off.
• It's important to note which machines are gas and which are electric
• Doing one load of laundry in hot water uses as much energy as leaving your fridge door open for 24-hours
• By the end of 2011, nearly a quarter of the major home appliances sold worldwide will be non-white. This will be most true for high-end appliances.
• Kenmore appliances are produced by Whirlpool
• No one has invented a washer/dryer combo that folds laundry yet
  

The washer and dryer arrive on Saturday. Here's hoping for a lower electricity bill, cleaner clothes, shorter drying time, and a husband that will do laundry.


* Totally fabricated date